How do you pick a side?*

It’s pouring here, has been since early this morning.

I’m restless, too busy–my brain won’t quiet. I barely finish a thought when the next one comes barging in, shoving the one before it into the swamp-marsh of things in my head that bubble and are forgotten.

I have a lot of questions rumbling around in my head. I often wonder if it’s too many questions, but this is the way my brain works and who am I to argue that? And if you know me personally, you might know that I ask a lot of questions. I want to know how people work.

And the question that woke me up at 3 a.m., before the rain started, when the dog had 90 percent of my bed space and the world was so quiet outside that I was nearly convinced that me and the dog and the cottage were the only existing things on earth, was this:

What side of the bed do you sleep on? And why?


Which then led to these questions:

  • Do you change the side of the bed you sleep on when you sleep somewhere else, or when you move?
  • Is your choice dependent upon bed placement, or size or shape of room?
  • What about geographical placement (like, do you need be on the northernmost side of the bed)?
  • Do you let other people (or pets) influence your side-of-bed choice?
  • Is your choice influenced by needing to be close to or farther away from a door or window?
  • Do you not even choose a side, but sleep in the middle (understandable for a twin bed, but anything bigger and middle sleeping just seems unfathomable to me)?
  • Is it weird that I am even pondering these questions?
  • I mean, why do I need to know how other people sleep?
  • Should there even be hyphens in the phrase “side-of-bed choice”?
  • Wait, do I really want to be questioning hyphen use in the middle of the night?

And so it went for a good half hour longer, pondering beds and sides and pillows (fat and thick? or flat and thin?) and the ultimate question of why dogs in beds, even tiny dogs, seem to expand to take up so much more space than it seems they should.

Maybe that’s a question for another sleepless middle of the night. Dog expansion.

*Oh. You thought I was going to write about the election? Sorry to disappoint.