happy to see you, Friday

Do you know those weeks where you’re just ticking off all the things on your to-do list, everything is falling into place at work, you’re ahead of schedule on things, nothing has slipped off your radar, and you’re just crushing your responsibilities?

This week has been just about the opposite of that. I’ve made mistakes at work. Steered a coworker wrong. Answered emails and chats (many, in fact) without reading the whole question, or even misinterpreting the question. Didn’t do prep work for a meeting. Dropped lots of work balls. Logged in to my live class on Tuesday night, after a total marathon of a day, only to realize I had the date wrong.

But it’s Friday morning now and I’m easing into my work day, doors and windows open while listening to the music of the birds and the crickets, and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly going to be okay. This semi-crappy week did have bright spots. I facilitated a group in one meeting and not only didn’t crumble from anxiety, but actually enjoyed myself. I owned my mistakes and apologized to the coworker I steered wrong. There is a pair of deer that keeps showing up on the beach in the evenings, and they have been a delight to watch. One of the resident eagles soared in front of the cottage during my Wednesday night class and landed briefly on the beach in front of me, while we were discussing employment at-will and how employees can or can’t be terminated in other countries.

Nobody gets it all right all the time, no matter what they say, and it’s too hard an ideal to live up to. I’m still working on learning my limits, knowing what to say no to, when to delegate, when to push, when to step back. I’m not afraid to be wrong, or to not know everything.

In that Wednesday night class, our professor encouraged us to engage in self-care this summer, despite our busyness and our commitments. This weekend, aside from catching up on homework and professional reading, I’m hoping to spend some time cleaning and taking care of the cottage I so love and appreciate. I have some poetry books I want to dig in to, and a short novel. I want to paint a little, just for fun, with no expectations. I want to nap in one of the hammocks behind the house, under the pines.